So I watched oprah last week and have not been able to get the show about cheating off my mind. The guy who wrote the book was telling us women ways to help our husbands not cheat. I started thinking to myself with everything I am responsible for like cooking, cleaning, driving, taking care of children, and animals i really have to worry about this. A women spoke up on the show and said that we were being way to easy on these guys and they still had a choice and they decided to cross that line. I so agree with her, I may not be able to have sex 3 times a day let alone once a day (lucky if its once a week)like in the begining. But I sure expect my husband to keep his package in his pants, and I may not thank him as much as i should for what he does but that is not an excuse to cheat. when women have had a hard day and do not get thanked for the laundry and the cleaning you dont see them running off to another mans bed.

    There are always going to be people (men and women) that try to temp you but I believe that it is the morals that you are brought up with. In my book there is no excuse for cheating you can always get help before it comes to that whether its counciling or something else.

    Anyway I would love to hear other moms opinions or experiences with this subject

Hope to hear from you all soon

I saw that show too, I am on the same page as you if I had to worry about my husband cheating because of not thanking him or having sex enough my faoth in marriage would be over

I completely agree with what both of you are saying. My fiancee is the super jealous type, so I am constantly being accused of something. You know with all the free time pon my hands between football, 2 toddlers and 2 elementary aged boys, 5 total for those that may not know me, I have been accused of having someone over, taking too long at the store when I ge tthe chance to go alone, you name it, he has thought it!

My point is that in some relationships, mine in example, of course I am not cheating, my fiancee accusses me because of an insecurity in himself. It is sad but it is his problem and I have learned that unless he wishes to address HIS problem there is nothing more I can do or say to make him feel better. I have tried believe me. We have been together almost seven years and we maintain an very active sex life (at least once per day or every other day) I have learned throughout these years that he really is such a simple creature.

My question to you ladies is this: What is your take on "Emotional Cheating" by definition this is getting emotional support on a regular basis from someone of the opposite sex. I would really like to know what people think of this because I am having some issues right now.

Thanks,
Andrea

This is a great topic girls.  I really believe that we are all 100% responsible for our own actions and choices.  I do not agree with the guy on how to help your husband not cheat. It is ridiculous.  Relationship go through phases.  When I was pregnant for basically two years we didn't have sex too often.  I was high risk and then I was breastfeeding and then I was prego again and sooo tired (I was also anti-cooking).  Husband/Boyfriends who truely love their partners DO NOT CHEAT!!  Today, now that I am not prego and my body is back I am into sex. It is like we are dating again.  I think we are making up for "the prego years."  

It was so difficult for me at the beginning of our marriage because I have never had a example of a commited relationship to learn from growing up.  My dad and step-dad were not faithful and I just thought that all guys cheat.  Through alot of communication I have learned that we cannot live in fear of not being able to be responsible for our partners happiness.  I can only be responsible for my own happiness and be responsible for my own actions. And I expect him to do the same.  I don't think I would have enough time or energy to be worried about what he was doing during the day.  

I do believe in emotional cheating.  I would be crushed of my husband was emotional relying on someone else.  It would be so painful.  If he needed to emotional connect with another women than we probably shoudn't be together, or we need some serious therepy.  

All couples have issues.  It is so normai.  All couples argue and have differences of opinion.  But issues such as cheating is definately a deal breaker. I find it so interesting that in generations before us cheating was accepted.  This happend in my family and my grandma still says well honey i wanted to keep the family together......What?  I am sorry, this is too painful for the party being cheated on. 

What I also don't understand is that why are homosexual couples being accused of distroying family values (by getting married) when heterosexual couples are breaking their marriage vows everyday?  Marriage is a beautiful things and should be shared by any two consenting adults who are commited to each other. But that is just my personal belief.

hey andrea,

I think that talking to anouther male about your relationship or other things about your life can be risky. You have to think why are you going to this person instead of your significant other. Sometimes things that start out innocent become a tangled web.

There was a time when my husband and I were first married when I found an email he had writen to a friend of his that was a girl. The email made me uncomfortable and I just felt that it was not right. I angerly shared my thoughts and turned the situation around, I believe you should not talk or write about anything that you would not let you significant other hear or read. In my opinion it leaves an open door for temptation.

That is why sites like this are so great, you can tell or share your feeling with moms and other women that might be going throught the same thing. We are here for you and willing to listen.

Maybe take some time to yourself and figure out why you might need emotional support form someone else. The maybe you need to have a conversation with your other half. Relationships are hard, but we will help you through it

Andrea,

I got chills when I read your question about emotional cheating... been there! My first husband stayed close friends with his ex and eventually I had enough. I divorced him. It was just as bad as sexual cheating to me. I still think there was more going on, but never had solid proof. Having him talk to her every day made me feel so unloved and like the odd one out. It was horrible! After I divorced him, he tried to get back together with her, and it didn't work. He said while we were married, he had this fantasy that she was everything I wasn't. I never got the friendship part of a marriage with him since he was sharing that part of himself with her... this went on for 3.5 years!!! I sooooo wanted it to work, but it was impossible with her in the picture. So, moral of the story, emotional cheating will ruin your relationship and is not healthy!!!

I've been married to my 2nd husband for 7 years now, and thank gawd we are on the same page when it comes to this!!!

Holly

Thanks holly and Julie for your very kind words. My situation is so complex. Greg and I have been together for six and a half years and we have three children together, they are five and half, four and almost three. We basically met, fell in love, and immediately got pregnant. I lost the first baby we conceived at twelve weeks but then got pregnant again with our son Gregory. I feel that our relationship is strained because really, we never got to know eachother and become "friends" Now I feel like we are only together for the kids and it has become so routine but not in a good way. I stay home with the kids, run the house, run his business, while he works. This is fine, however, he is extremely uninvolved with the kids and I. I attend all the football practices and games of my older sons, coordinate playdates with my younger sons and their friends and he is so rarely here with us. I love him very much but feel we really do have little in common except our children. He hates the fact that I plan to embark on a career in law enforcement and gives no regard to how happy and excited it makes me. I am not saying any of this to justify my friendship with this other person but I think everyone needs to get a clearer picture of where I am coming from. I really am at a loss and do not know what to do. My kids are so small still and at the end of the day that is their dad and they adore him. Thanks again girls, it really does help to talk about this.

Andrea

Andrea,

I hope you do not think by any means that I was judging you, I was just giving you the best advice I could. I think that it would be really hard to be with someone for that long and feel now like the only reason you are togeather is for the kids. If you really love him my advice would be to try get council from someone. Also I know it might be hard but try to go on dates maybe try to rekindle what drew you to him in the first place.

I think your situation is very much what other women are going through, it is so easy to get caught up in our day to day routines and forget about why we were ever with our partner in the first place. It takes alot of work to keep a family, kids and a husband happy, and whats harder is the primary reponsibility falls on the women

I often find myself realizing that I get lost in my day to day activities and forget that my husband needs me emotionaly too. I need him just as much but it is easy to push that need aside when there are baths to give and kids to feed. I think it is great that you are talking about it and that it can only get better the more you talk about how you are feeling. Talk soon

Oh no Julie. I did not think you were judging me. Besides, there was nothing but truth to what you were saying. You are right, about everything and I appreciate your honesty and your support. It is helping to get the feelings out and talk it out because god knows Greg doesn't listen. He refuses to go to counseling and says that everything will be fine as the kids get older. I hope that is true.

Thanks again!
Andrea

****Emotional cheating....

It will end up ---at some point--- where it was NOT ment to go. Period. Your husband IS your emotional support. Or your mother or sister...